OK, I felt that I had to say something. On numerous levels, the premature death of Whitney Houston is saddening. Her music touched numerous people on different levels. That’s why she was a star. She could sing…and sing good. It saddens me the someone could struggle that much over the years and seem to have very little help (or clear intervention) from others. So here’s a couple of things that Doc would like you to take from this in hopes of helping those around you (or maybe even yourself).
First, there are places in our hearts that are designed to be filled with certain things. Families. Nature. Work. Ourselves. Service to others. And a place for God. All those things are supposed to be built into our lives, and when there are pieces missing (or those that are there are dysfunctional), then our first response is usually to try to fill it with something else. That’s why for so may people a crappy day at work or at home leads them to a bar, a joint, etc. But that void remains, no matter how much you try to fill it with something else. While I feel sorry that she felt the need to drown out what was going on over the course of her life, it saddens me knowing that so many others that we all know and love do it everyday.
Which brings me to the second thing: I find it hard to believe that no one in her circle could see it was at a level that action needed to be taken. Maybe that’s because she kept refusing, or she never let anyone that close. But I would encourage all my readers to have people in your life that can tell you the hard things. People who can not only tell you if you are getting off track, but who you will actually listen to. If you have an alcohol problem they can “get in your business” and tell you. And then help you get over it. Just a word of warning. It may hurt like crazy and totally make you mad. But you have to have safeguards that prevent the toxic natures of our own personality and shortcomings from winning.
As a side note before I get to the last point, if I were to die on the same day as a “super-star” I would not be offended if the world honor’s their passing. Even my friends. Really. Realistically, I know that the open arms of my Saviour for me is all that is important at that moment. So if a “super-star” dies at the same time I do, don’t feel that you dishonor me by remembering them too. I bring this up since there are posts all over the internet making us feel guilty for remembering her and not the soldiers who have died, the police who defend and the firefighters who protect us, etc. Like I can only mourn/remember one person at a time. I joined the Air Force back in 1995 not because of the glamor or prestige. I joined because I wanted to serve my country. And it didn’t matter to me if the country celebrated me, and I dare say that those guys feel the same. So, if you don’t want to think about her, fine. But don’t make others feel guilty who might.
Lastly, there was a story in the book I was reading, Mind Hunter, about a poster that adorned an office in the FBI.
“For years, Gregg McCrary had a cartoon tacked to the bulletin board in his office. It shows a fire-breathing dragon standing directly over a prostrate knight. The caption reads simply, “Sometimes the dragon wins.”
One of my favorite scenes or Criminal Minds covers this.
This really describes out lot in life. Sometimes, the dragon wins. My Law Enforcement and fire friends see it all the time. You can have the best skills, accuracy, body armor, intelligence, and support and it still goes bad. A “routine stop” (Although you are taught that NO stop is routine) ends up bad. A “small fire” leading to a collapsed wall. A hose malfunctions. A gun jams. And good guys get hurt (or die). Sometimes the dragon wins. I think this was true in Whitney’s case, in in countless of our lives. So in short: Take time for you. Enjoy your family, friends and hobbies. Do what you love and love what you do. Pray. Love. Reach Out. Enjoy. Live.
The dragon doesn’t always win. Our job is to better ourselves, and help each other so the dragon wins less and less.