Category Archives: help

The death of celebrities versus military and first responders.

OK, I felt that I had to say something. On numerous levels, the premature death of Whitney Houston is saddening. Her music touched numerous people on different levels. That’s why she was a star. She could sing…and sing good. It saddens me the someone could struggle that much over the years and seem to have very little help (or clear intervention) from others. So here’s a couple of things that Doc would like you to take from this in hopes of helping those around you (or maybe even yourself).

First, there are places in our hearts that are designed to be filled with certain things. Families. Nature. Work. Ourselves. Service to others. And a place for God. All those things are supposed to be built into our lives, and when there are pieces missing (or those that are there are dysfunctional), then our first response is usually to try to fill it with something else. That’s why for so may people a crappy day at work or at home leads them to a bar, a joint, etc. But that void remains, no matter how much you try to fill it with something else. While I feel sorry that she felt the need to drown out what was going on over the course of her life, it saddens me knowing that so many others that we all know and love do it everyday.

Which brings me to the second thing: I find it hard to believe that no one in her circle could see it was at a level that action needed to be taken. Maybe that’s because she kept refusing, or she never let anyone that close. But I would encourage all my readers to have people in your life that can tell you the hard things. People who can not only tell you if you are getting off track, but who you will actually listen to. If you have an alcohol problem they can “get in your business” and tell you. And then help you get over it. Just a word of warning. It may hurt like crazy and totally make you mad. But you have to have safeguards that prevent the toxic natures of our own personality and shortcomings from winning.

As a side note before I get to the last point, if I were to die on the same day as a “super-star” I would not be offended if the world honor’s their passing. Even my friends. Really. Realistically, I know that the open arms of my Saviour for me is all that is important at that moment. So if a “super-star” dies at the same time I do, don’t feel that you dishonor me by remembering them too. I bring this up since there are posts all over the internet making us feel guilty for remembering her and not the soldiers who have died, the police who defend and the firefighters who protect us, etc. Like I can only mourn/remember one person at a time. I joined the Air Force back in 1995 not because of the glamor or prestige. I joined because I wanted to serve my country. And it didn’t matter to me if the country celebrated me, and I dare say that those guys feel the same. So, if you don’t want to think about her, fine. But don’t make others feel guilty who might.

Lastly, there was a story in the book I was reading, Mind Hunter, about a poster that adorned an office in the FBI.

“For years, Gregg McCrary had a cartoon tacked to the bulletin board in his office. It shows a fire-breathing dragon standing directly over a prostrate knight. The caption reads simply, “Sometimes the dragon wins.”

One of my favorite scenes or Criminal Minds covers this.

This really describes out lot in life. Sometimes, the dragon wins. My Law Enforcement and fire friends see it all the time. You can have the best skills, accuracy, body armor, intelligence, and support and it still goes bad. A “routine stop” (Although you are taught that NO stop is routine) ends up bad. A “small fire” leading to a collapsed wall. A hose malfunctions. A gun jams. And good guys get hurt (or die). Sometimes the dragon wins. I think this was true in Whitney’s case, in in countless of our lives. So in short: Take time for you. Enjoy your family, friends and hobbies. Do what you love and love what you do. Pray. Love. Reach Out. Enjoy. Live.

The dragon doesn’t always win. Our job is to better ourselves, and help each other so the dragon wins less and less.

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Just some things I’m thinking about.

Periodically I post a thought or two that I have. Tonight I gravitate to a thought I’ve been kicking around. I got a link about police suicide prevention. A suicide is seven times more likely than a Line of Duty death. I encourage any officer reading this note to watch the video. Know the difference between stress and trauma. And remember, it’s never bad to ask for help. This video was sponsored by Badge of Life.

Rascal Flatts video Why.

My conversation with God

This entry among infrequent entries details a conversation that I had one night.

God : So, what did you tell your son last night?
Me : Yea, I know what I told him.
God : Why is it different for you?
Me : I don’t know, It’s just different.
God : What do you really want to ask Me?
Me : Why do I hurt? All the time?
Me : Why do I have the same struggles with the same sin?
Me : Why does it seem those closest try to hurt me the most?
Me : Why can’t I talk to You?
Me : When will this battle be over?
God : Well son, you live in a world that is trying to put my light out. You have that light in you. So you’re just as open to attack as the next guy. What is it you say “Man up”?
Me : Come on God, that’s not fair.
God : And what is it that you say about fair.
Me : I came for help you know.
God : You’ll get it. You just have to learn to see past yourself.
Me : How? That’s like saying, “I know your legs are broken, but help that old lady across the street.”
God : But haven’t I promised to be there to help you? I mean, the Blood of Jesus, Baptism of the Holy Spirit. Is that ringing a bell?
Me : But it’s not easy.
God : Did I say it would be? What’s the title of your blog? Life is a War. Life, like war isn’t usually easy. It isn’t pretty and is hard to wrap up in a box. If you could, would you need me? If it was easy all the time, what good would the Comforter do for you?
Me : You have a point. So what’s my problem?
God : That’s your problem. You try to figure too much out. What topic can I put this under? When can I mark that off my to do list? What time did I finish that? You don’t have any problems. What you have is areas that you need some help.
Me : What? How can you say that? Besides being God and all. I mean, I live in my body every day. And I have lots of problems.
God : Problem – 1. any question or matter involving doubt, uncertainty, or difficulty.
Me : OK.
God : Well, number one is not so good. The fact that you talk to me indicates you don’t have doubt.
Me : But sometimes I do.
God : Not really. Is doubt what keeps you going? Is that what makes you read the Word everyday? You may not understand everything, but that doesn’t mean you have doubt. You can have faith in your heart with out having it all figured out in your head. And since you’ve staked your life and studies in Me, uncertainty is not such an issue with you.
Me : Yea, but what about difficulty. I feel I’m surrounded by that.
God : Oh no, you have me there.
Me : Why is it that I think you have me?
God : I do. Difficulty is just a matter of perspective. Can you fly a plane?
Me : No.
God : Speak Swahili?
Me : Uh, no.
God : Brain Surgery?
Me : I wish….
God : Why can’t you?
Me : I don’t know how. It’s difficult to do what you don’t know how to do.
God : But someone can, right? They know how. So your difficulty is easy to someone. All you have to do is let someone who can take care of those things take care of them.
Me : I think I know where this is going.
God : Oh really?
Me : Since You know what You’re doing, stand back and watch.
God : Nope. Wanna try again?
Me : I’ll listen now.
God : Good. I’ve been waiting for that. You see, if you just ask me, then listen, then obey, you’ll notice a big difference. You forget sometimes that God is in your corner. See what I did in six days? Son in one week, one week, your life could be completely different. Your battle could be over. Your victory could be closer than you think. What would you do if you knew that you had only six more days to a big breakthrough in your life?
Me : Relax. Sleep more. Be happier. Nicer.
God : Well, how about this, you walk with Me. I’ll help you through it, and you’ll see that breakthrough.
Me : That sounds good. I feel much better.
God : I knew you would. Now how’s about getting some of that sleep. I have a celebration to plan.
Me : Good Night God.
God : Good night.